Stay away

I really didn’t like the way you wrote kal ka blog. Maine apna blog isliye nhi likha tha that you will write just a reaction on that in your blog but you did. I’m so sorry. Blog should be whatever you want to write and I should not have any say in that, you can do whatever you like. But bro! since I clearly mentioned that I don’t want any kind of sympathy so please. It didn’t helped me rather it worsened my state of mind. The time I was reading it in the morning, I promised myself that I will not write any blog from now onwards because reading your blog made me so sick in head, and the funny part was that even if I have bad days, I begin my next morning with a hope that things will change today but now you can expect what have I felt after reading your blog. Seriously I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help and I don’t need anyone. Blog should be yours, not for me.


Now you must be thinking that how rude I am that you have your exam after two days and I am saying such bad things to you and your efforts. This is I am actually. I am the worst person one could ever have in their life. I have started hating myself now. Spending my days just scrolling and making myself physically tired so that I could sleep at nights but this also isn't working for me bcz my legs ache so much. All I am missing is fresh air, clear sky, and most importantly sunlight. I miss the sunshine and I hope, so it misses me. I don’t want to meet you so you better stay away. I just want to end my masters in the worst way possible. I want to have the worst days of my life. I want to suffer now. I miss myself, my past self. The one who when entered this place, she was the most excited person because it was my two year old dream to get enrolled at this department.


I am not able to think even what do I want in my life. I don’t want anything. Because I have nothing to work upon. I have just wasted these two years and after this I feel myself as such a giant failure because only I know I have learnt nothing here. I was such a scholarly soul during my grads and I am nothing now. And you know what. I am such a fuckingly foolish dumb ass that I don’t want anything to change. I want to lose everything. I want myself to fail this time. I want to see the failure. I just don’t want to be happy.

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