No matter what happens!

Hi
So kal ka din jitna bhi horrifying raha ho, aaj din utna hi thanda tha mere liye. Subeh se hi so chill. Ek bhaaripan bhi tha but jitna bhaaripan tha utna hi light bhi feel hora tha. Khushi si thi thay you had went for your exam. Excitement bhi thi ki kaise hoga exam. Subeh se sara kaam maine kiya aaj. Breakfast jhaadu pochha sab kuch... Aur fir pdh bhi liya thoda sa. Acha laga. Dopahar me jab pdh rhi thi toh aise hi khayal aaya ki tum kitna kuch karte ho. Aur mai kitna bura behave karti hu humesha. Tumko kbhi kbhi lgta hoga ki tumhara meri life me hone se kuch fayda bhi hai ya nhi kyuki dukhi toh mai ab bhi ho jati hu. Aur kisi bhi type ke relationship me Khushi sabse zada important hoti hai. Tum sochte hoge whether mai khush hu ya nhi. Yehi sab sochke introspect krne lagi toh realise hua that change aaya hai mujhme bhi. Though meri life me problems hain aur mai roti bhi bhot hu but ek cheez h jo ab nhi hai meri life me. Bhale hi itne din Mai pareshan thi but ek pal bhi mere mind me suicidal thoughts nahi aaye, not even for a second. Jo ki till some months back kafi common thay. Halat meri kitni bhi kharab ho, vo sab ab mere mind me nhi aata. And I think ye bhot badi baat hai. Yehi sab sochte sochte aankhon me paani aagya tha fir maine socha aaj blog me yehi likhungi. 

Apart from this, there are a lot of things jo mujhe bolni hain but we'll talk when we'll meet in person. Abhi ke liye bas ek hi baat hai which I want to say ki life me kuch bhi ho jaye, tumhare sath ya mere sath, never give up on me. Chahe mai hi kyu na bolu ki chale jao, you will not give up on me. Tumhare aaj ke exam ka koi result rahe ya kisi aur exam ka bhi. I don't care. Mujhe unse farq nhi pdta. All I want ki mai kitni bhi problem me hi, tumpe kitna hi gussa karu, rone tumhare paas hi aana chahti hu. Humesha. 

Goodnight. 

Popular posts from this blog

Fears

Hi. Writing after 15 days. Actually hota to bhot kuch hai share krne ko but na time milta hai aur na hi mauka. Fir lagta hai ki chod ab kya hi share Krna. Aaj ghar me ladai ho gyi thi. Mmy aur bhaiya ke beech bhot zada. Traumatic lagne lagta hai. But koi ni. Manage kar liya tha maine khud ko. Kafi dino se kuch kuch purani baatein yaad aa rhi hain. I don't have any person to share these but agar bas apne andar rkhungi to aur pareshan hoti rahungi. Mujhe yaad aaya aaj ki when I was in that relationship na, to my then- partner cheated on me. Aur iske baare me mujhe kafi time baad pata laga. Actually I got into that relationship in a very vulnerable state kyuki dost nhi bache thay mere pas. Physical relation ke 10 days ke andar he told me that he is not committed to me kyuki Mai iss layak nhi hu jisse shaadi ki jaa sake. Body nhi hai meri attractive, dressing sense bhi nhi hai properly feminine. He told me that usko laga ki mujhe sexual needs hain and he did that to me. When I got to k...
Read more

A break

I don't know what's happening at your end. But I know about my side. All I want to say is mujhe kuch din text mat karna. Mujhe kisi se baat krne ka Mann nhi hai. 10-15 days. My mind is just overly disturbed. And I'm not able to process even smaller things. Isliye please don't expect anything out of me. Don't expect that I'll be sharing things and notifications with you. Khud se dekhlena sab. I just don't want to talk with anyone. I am just done. Can't find peace.
Read more